Losing Weight

During secondary school my weight never changes. It maintains at 50kg every single year no matter how much i ate. Maybe it was because i joined losta school activities which makes me an active person so my weight don't increase or decrease.

Everything changes when i start to enter form 6. Form 6 is the time i starts to get lazy and i don't even exercise at all. I ate KFC and MCD almost every single week with my classmates and a lot more oily fatty foods. Then my weight starts to keep on increasing but its still okay because whenever I feel Im getting fatter i stop to eat so much.

Things got even worse when i start my Uni life here in Kampar. Firstly it was because Kampar's food is very big in portion. Sometimes i feel wasted if I don't finish all my food because I pay for it not my parents anymore. So i kept on eating even I am already full. This goes on and on and on till my appetites got bigger. I can eat likeaGIANT. Ugh.

Secondly it was because the economy rice here is kind of cheap for me. Because every time i eat economy rice here it will never cost me more than RM3.50. Cheap right??? So...i keep on eating without controlling. Besides that, it was also because of stress. When Im stress i tends to eat a lot. Especially desserts.

All these causes my weight increase till 60kg. I still don't realise it until every commented that i looks fat already. Ahh... its kinda sad coz i tot no matter how much i eat i will never be fat but....it happens. hmmm. So that time onwards i try to eat lesser and lesser and exercise.

It works! I finally get to drop till 56kg which i think its normal for me coz im 170cm tall. So I maintain my weight although i've think of trying to hit only 50kg. Which is considered as underweight for my height. But recently I've had my braces on. Its hard for me to chew food and i can only eat very very slow. I might even need an hour to finish all my food and the pain makes me loose my appetite.

After one three months of braces I can finally feel myself getting thinner and thinner. When i went to weigh i realized I've dropped till 51kg. I don't know should i be happy or not because I always wants to be thinner. Haha. But somehow after some time i felt unhealthy. Im scared. Coz....even my small boobs are getting smaller. Yeah. Now is flat already. -,-

What should I do? What can I do? I eat a plate of rice i got stomach cramps. I don't eat also cramps. WTF my stomach wants. Sometimes I can even vomit when i eat too much. I don't want to have flat boobs and i don't want to be too underweight. I hope my weight stays and will never go any lower or higher.

Oh ya. I don't looks very thin coz i actually has lotsa fats.